Change and why it's a good thing

The last 2 months for me have been an emotional roller coaster to say the least.  Training has been good but is taking a back seat to how I'm feeling at the moment which is why I'm writing.  Writing is my way to let it all out.  I don't mind feeling down; it just means that by the end of it I will be a stronger version of myself, and I'm grateful to have this opportunity.

  I think it's important to reflect during times like this and to take a step back to look at the bigger picture.  Sure there have been a bunch of negatives recently, but I am still surrounded by family and friends that love me, and I am blessed with the opportunities I have for the future.

  I also think it's good to break out of the norms.  There are definitely positives coming out of this.  For one I am discovering a more confident side to me, and am only becoming a better person.  I find myself enjoying life's little moments because I am taking more opportunities instead of passing over them due to fear. 

I'm also learning to be more independent.  I was stuck in a "relationship" that was going to end badly either way due to reasons out of either of our control.  To put it shortly it was sort of like a Romeo and Juliet relationship.  Things happen and i don't think it was meant to be, and while part of me wishes that things turned out differently, I think the entire experience was a big eye opener for me, and had a positive outcome on my future. 

I learned how capable I was because someone believed in me, and now have that same belief for myself that she had in me.  I learned how to truly love and be loved, and I think that's why it's haunted me this long, because the feeling is hard to find, whether I'm looking for it in another person, lifting, or the bottom of a bottle.  However I'm not going to let myself turn into a cynic, and will keep pushing forward with my goals and aspirations, because that's what I learned from all of this.

On top of this, I lost the person who gave me my first job, who was also a good friend to me, because of an OD.  This makes me cherish my loved ones even more.  He had a family and I cannot imagine if I was in their position, so I have been more and more greatful and thankful each day that I still have my own family.  I'm sure it's been tough for all of them and my prayers go out to all of them.  It's taught me to really cherish life because life is unpredictable; you never know what could happen in a matter of seconds.  And this is okay.  Life would be boring if it was all mapped out.

As for the future of this blog, I'm going to start writing about my training weekly and the different protocols I am using with my own twist on them, as well as some other writings like this.